“We’re really camera shy - the idea of posing makes us cringe”.
This is something I hear a lot. It’s OK, I’m not a fashion photographer, so I don’t expect to be working with fashion models. I’m a wedding photogrpher, so I expect to work with couples who find themselves, maybe for the first time in their adult lives, the centre of attention.
Sometimes couples say it outright. Sometimes they don’t say it, but I can tell from the tone of an email that the thought of being photographed feels awkward at best and deeply uncomfortable at worst.
Believe me, I get it. Part of the reason I became a wedding photographer is that I’ve always felt the safest place in the world is behind a camera, not in front of one.
So if you’re worried about looking stiff, awkward, too posed, too visible, too exposed - you’re not unusual. You’re normal.
I assume you’ll feel some level of trepidation
Even when couples don’t explicitly tell me they’re camera shy, I assume you’ll have some nerves about the couple portraits in particular.
Most of us are self-conscious about something. Height. Teeth. Skin. Weight. Hair. Posture. A profile we don’t like. A side we prefer. That’s just being human.
So I approach photographing every wedding with a default sensitivity to that. I don’t assume you’ll be relaxed. I don’t assume you love being photographed. I don’t assume you want to perform.
And I also recognise that for some people, it goes beyond mild awkwardness. Some people have a debilitating fear of being photographed. I’m always aware of that possibility.
That’s why I try to create space before the wedding for you to tell me how you feel about being photographed - what you’re comfortable with, and what you’re not.
I take body image seriously
When I say I take my job seriously, this is part of what I mean.
Wedding photography isn’t just about light and composition. It’s about trust. You’re asking someone to document one of the most emotionally charged days of your life. That includes how you look, and how you feel about how you look.
I am highly sensitive to body image. I do not see my role as “fixing” you. I see my role as photographing you in a way that feels honest and respectful.
I’m not a stylist
A groom once emailed me after receiving his wedding photos to say I should have told him to unbutton his waistcoat because he thought it made him look “like a Michelin man”.
Even if I had noticed that at the time - which I didn’t, and for the record I thought he looked great - there is no way I would have said anything.
It would feel intrusive. It could easily tip into body-shaming. And frankly, it’s not my place.
In the same way, I’m not going to ask a shorter groom to stand on his tiptoes to match his bride’s height. Why would I assume that needs correcting? You are the height you are. That’s part of who you are.
You’re getting married to each other. I would hope you’ve both already decided you like how the other one looks.
Now, that doesn’t mean I abdicate all responsibility. If your tie is twisted or your shirt is hanging out, I’ll absolutely mention it. That’s practical. That’s about presentation, not body judgment.
But I’m not there to impose a beauty standard.
If you’re sensitive about something, tell me
Despite everything above, please do tell me if there’s something you’re particularly sensitive about.
Some people tell me they hate their profile. Others mention they’re self-conscious about their teeth, or a scar, or a specific angle. That’s completely fine.
I appreciate you might feel self-conscious or embarrased telling me. But rest-assured, I’ll be sensitive and discreet.
If you tell me in advance, I can quietly bear it in mind when I’m photographing you. I won’t make a big deal of it. I won’t announce it. I won’t even mention it in front of your partner.
But I’m not going to make assumptions if you don’t tell me. I’m not scanning you for “flaws” to correct.
I don’t reshape you in Photoshop
Beyond colour, brightness and contrast, I don’t alter your appearance.
I don’t use AI to slim, smooth, reshape or otherwise modify you. I don’t believe in quietly changing how you look and presenting that as reality.
And because I was asked about this recently, I want to be explicit about something else. If you are Black or Asian, I will not lighten your skin in post-production unless you specifically ask me to. If you do ask, of course I will. They’re your photographs.
But it would be offensive - and frankly racist - for me to presume that lighter skin is preferable. I will never make that assumption.
Again, it comes back to the same principle: it is not my job to apply normative beauty standards to you.
There’s a paradox in wedding photography. From the outside, it might look like our job is to ‘make people beautiful’. As I see it, my job is simpler and more grounded than that.
I will use good light.
I will avoid angles that are objectively unflattering.
I will guide you in ways that feel natural rather than stiff.
I will give you something to do so you’re not just standing there wondering where to put your hands.
But I’m not trying to transform you. I’m trying to photograph you as you are on a day that matters. The way you stand together. The way you laugh. The way you hold each other when you forget I’m there.
If the idea of posing makes you cringe, that’s fine. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to become different versions of yourselves. You just have to show up as you. I’ll take care of the rest.
